On Doing What You Don’t Want To

Today, I did a workout I didn’t want to do. I’ve been fighting a stomach bug this weekend, nothing too dramatic but it makes me want to lay around, do nothing, and stay close to home. I’m wrapping up an exercise challenge for this month and I didn’t want to get more than a day behind, so I forced myself to do this workout. I knew it would be tough, I knew it wouldn’t feel good, and I didn’t want to do it, but I also knew I needed to do it. So I did. I got through it. I thought it would be a lot worse, than it was, actually. It’s not a long workout, only took about 12 minutes to finish, and muscle memory did most of the work. I’ve been doing these same three moves for nearly a month now so once I started my body just did what it needed to do. Now I’m not sure if my stomach feels any better, but I do feel better about myself.

Clearly, my mind has been focused on challenging myself to do things I haven’t done before, and things I need to do but have been avoiding. There are times in life where it’s good to be content with were you are, and other times when you need to push yourself to do more, be more, accomplish more. Guess which season I’m in right now?

I wrote recently on doing what you can’t. That’s certainly a challenge, but I like a challenge. What is hard for me is doing what I don’t want to. The reasoning behind that is so obvious, I can’t believe I’m going to say it. It’s because ... I don’t want to. Crazy, huh? The absolute hardest thing for me is doing the things I know I need to do, but that I don’t want to do. And worse, I am confronted many times a day with this conundrum. Whether it’s a tough workout when I’d rather be goofing off or taking a nap, making better eating choices, getting up earlier, having an uncomfortable conversation, or taking a scary step that may or may not work out well, I am constantly having to choose to do things I’d rather not. So here are a couple of things I’ve learned about that.

First, you don’t get anywhere in life by refusing to do something just because you don’t want to do it. The hard things, the challenging things, those are the things that grow us. If you’re not where you want to be, ask yourself, what hard thing have you been avoiding?

Second, if you refuse to do something you don’t want to do, you may miss an opportunity you have been hoping for. Sometimes we do things we regret. Sometimes, we DON’T do things, and miss out, and regret that even more. I’ve missed out on so many things because I didn’t want to do the work it would take to accomplish them, or because I was afraid of what might happen if I tried. Sometimes its worth it to take a risk. Even if you fail or get hurt, you can learn a lesson and grow as a person. If you never move forward because you might fail, if you never love because you might get hurt or hurt someone, you will live a sad, boring, empty life. I don’t want that. I’d rather face the tough stuff, do the things I don’t want to, and live a full, meaningful life.

Third, you’re not alone. I was reading Romans 7 today and it’s pretty clear that even the great apostle Paul, whose actions and teaching literally changed the world, struggled with this issue. It’s part of the human condition. We do the bad things we know we shouldn’t. We avoid doing the good things we know we should. It’s a struggle. A certain amount of mental fortitude and stubborn determination can get us pretty far in life, but Paul also gives the secret for when we can’t do enough on our own, and hope for when we fail. The sacrifice of Christ wipes out our bad decisions, the grace of God gives us another chance and the Holy Spirit gives us the power to do both what we can’t and what we don’t want to. As I was reading Romans 7 this morning I was really feeling Paul’s struggle, and also the relief when he concludes by exclaiming, “Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!”

If you’re facing something today that requires doing a good thing that you just don’t want to do, I challenge you to take a deep breath, say a prayer, and just do it. Hopefully, you’ll be glad you did.

On Writing Every Day

Over the next few weeks I’m blogging a series that I’m calling “Stop Thinking About Writing...And Just Write!” Thinking about writing is easy. When I mention that I’m a writer, people often say, “Oh, I’ve thought about writing a book.” My encouragement to anyone who has had that thought is, stop thinking that. Just do it. Writing can be difficult but it’s worth it to give it a try. So here are some of my thoughts on the process. Six thoughts, actually.

#1: Write Every Day

Make success a habit. I’m going to guess that if you’re interested in writing you have at least some creative aspect to your personality, and the idea of routine might be a bad word to you. It brings up these horrible ideas of stifling boredom and sameness and … blah. I feel all those things. I crave freedom and the ability to do what I want when I want to. And yet, I’ve found that my free spirit flourishes when I give it structure and familiarity and yes, even rules. I have very boring daily obligations that must be met so I try to balance that with times when I can just relax and be me and let my creativity flow. So I challenge you, if you’ve never done it before or even if you have, take a look at your daily activity. How are you spending your time? If one thing that keeps you from writing is never having enough time, where can you make some time? Do you have pockets in your day that you can dedicate to writing? I encourage you to find that time every day. A full hour is always best for me but not always possible. If you can squeeze in half an hour to focus on writing when you wake up, or before you sleep, or at lunch, or after work, or any time in your day, do it. Plan to do it every day. Create the systems you need in order to put that plan in motion. Then, when it’s time, sit down with your computer or your preferred writing apparatus and DO IT. Don’t think, “Look at this free time I have. I should do some errands or chores or make a phone call or check social media or sleep …” NO! You will do those things in your other time. When you carve out writing time, use it for writing. Make a habit of it. Because if you don’t, you are not a writer. You’re a poser. That’s right. I said it. Posers think about writing, and say they want to write, and join Facebook groups about writing, and read blogs about writing, but writers write. 

Find what works for you. Create a plan for how and when you will write. When you are planning, don’t forget that important word, Why. Keep your identity and your purpose clear in your mind. Why do you write? Why are you writing what you are writing today? Are there other words you need to get out before you can focus on this project? Keep your goals, objectives, and most importantly, your purpose, clear in your mind so that you can confidently focus on your writing. What you write is part of who you are, and reveals who you are to the world around you. You have something to contribute, a unique voice that no one else has. Find it. 

Creating a plan is only one step toward creating the habit of writing. If you start your plan and find it doesn’t work for you, you have permission to make adjustments and find what does work. Before giving up a plan, I do encourage you to really try it out first. It can be tempting to give up on something before you’ve really put an effort into it, especially if you’re feeling nervous or uncertain about it. With anything new, commit to working at it for awhile before deciding it doesn’t work for you. Then if you know it really doesn’t, let it go and try something else.

Stick with it. If you don’t feel like getting up, remind yourself that you’re a writer and that you have to get up and write. If you just want to go to bed, tell yourself to write for half an hour and then you can sleep. If your list of things to do tempts you to skip writing for today, add writing to your to-do list and get it done. Life happens. We can set ourselves up for success but we can’t control everything. We get distracted and interrupted. Illnesses, vacations, and events disrupt our rhythm. We can always find reasons not to write, or at least to put it off for now, but let’s not waste the work we’ve done to determine why we write and give ourselves space to do it. Missing one day of writing might not seem to be a big deal, but what if I skip today and then something comes up tomorrow, and I find something else to do the day after that? That carefully crafted creature of habit is easy to destroy. Skipped days turn into weeks and then we’re back to thinking about writing and not actually doing it.

When it comes to pursuing any goal, including writing, we often get in our own way. It’s important to deal with obstacles and objections and keep going, rather than get sidelined by them. If you do need to step away from your writing for some reason, make yourself a promise that you will get back to it, preferably at a specific day and time. Set reminders, create accountability, take care of whatever it is that is pulling you away, and then come back.

Okay writers, I want to hear from you. But I want you to do something important first. Write something. It can be anything. A poem, a journal, a story, a rant about something that bothered you today, a personal manifesto, a love letter. It doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be something. The more you do it, the easier it will be. Start your writing habit right now. Take a few minutes and write. Be a writer. And then come back and tell me how it went.

On Doing What You Can't

There is a commercial that aired during the Olympics that keeps sticking in my mind. You know a commercial has a powerful message when you keep thinking of it months later. This one was a Samsung commercial but like many commercials that run during sports broadcasts recently, it only subtly featured products, instead promoting an inspirational idea. This particular commercial focused on the word “can’t” and showed a variety people failing at what they’re trying to do, only to find inspiration to try again and succeed. The tag line of the spot is “Do What You Can’t” and it embodies the spirit of the Olympics, which I love. Run faster, jump higher, be stronger, do more and be more than what anyone thought was possible before. Even you. 

What is it about the human spirit that strives for the impossible? To look failure in the face and say “I can’t do it... but I will anyway”? I believe it is a hint that we were made for more than what we are right now. We are not gods, shouting to the universe and commanding it to obey, but we are created in the image of God, who spoke the universe into existence. His power at work in us makes the impossible seem achievable. 

But what about when tasks are too difficult? When obstacles are insurmountable? When weakness, or illness, or failure cannot be overcome? We are all human. If you live long enough you will come against something that knocks you down so hard and so repeatedly that you are too defeated to go on. What then?

This may sound crazy, but I suggest that you do something you can’t. Learn a new skill. Find a new opportunity. Make the most of what is available to you and stretch beyond your belief about what is possible. Then come back to the impossible thing, the broken heart, the difficult relationship, the frustrating job, the dismal future. You may find that what once seemed impossible now whispers “but it can be done. You can do it."

This year, I’ve set out on a journey to create a career and a future for myself that requires hard work, dedication, and learning new things. When it comes to working for myself, I have some bad history to overcome. My past is littered with failed endeavors, unfinished business, and great ideas that never came to fruition. But this time is different. I am older, wiser, I know more about the world and myself, and I am determined to make this work. More on what “this” is later but I’ll give you a hint: It has to do with writing.

The easiest path is the straightest and smoothest, but the difficult, rocky paths often reward us with the best views. It is easy to simply give up, to say “I’ll never be better than what I am now” or “I’m stuck in this job/house/relationship forever, it will never get better” or any of the other lies we convince ourselves to believe. What if, instead, you change your mind about what is possible? What would you do if you could not fail, if you had no limits? What if you went ahead and reached for that? I’m not promising miracles. You might fail. We are taught to fear failure as though it is our enemy, but it isn’t. Failure shows us how not to do something. It shows us where we didn’t work hard enough. It shows us that perhaps we should expend our efforts elsewhere. We learn from failure until we succeed. It’s just a step in the process. 

There are some things in life that truly are impossible. I learned at an early age that I could not fly or become a shape-shifter, no matter how badly I wanted it. But I could write about flying, and shape-shifting, and take others along for the ride. Sometimes when you want the impossible, you can still look it in the face and find your dreams. Sometimes we come up against the impossible so that we will turn to God, for whom nothing is impossible. The human spirit is powerful but God’s Spirit is all-powerful. Impossible doesn’t have to mean the end. It can be the beginning of more than you ever imagined. So go on. Do what you can’t. I dare you.