On Writing With A Plan

I’m blogging a series that I’m calling “Stop Thinking About Writing...And Just Write!” Thinking about writing is easy. When I mention that I’m a writer, people often say, “Oh, I’ve thought about writing a book.” My encouragement to anyone who has had that thought is, stop thinking that. Just do it. Writing can be difficult but it’s worth it to give it a try. So here are some of my thoughts on the process. Six thoughts, actually. The first was Write Every Day. Next...

#2: Write With a Plan

Know where you’re headed. I always like to approach life with a plan, so that I can then ignore it while reminding myself that at least I have one if I need it. That’s my basic approach to writing, too. I love outlines. I have loved them since I first learned how to make them. I love how neat and tidy they look with all their indents and subsections. Outlines are my go-to writing plan. I’ve used them forever, for every kind of writing I do. If I have an outline, I have something to work from. It gives me confidence and a sense of accomplishment. When setting out on a journey, it is important to know where you are going. It is perfectly acceptable to amble around with no real plan or purpose, discovering new places and things along the way. However, if your intention is to start in one place and get to another, you should have a general idea of how you’re going to make that happen. If you’re on a hike or a road trip or going somewhere for the first time, you need a map, or at least directions. If you’re writing, you need an outline, or a cork board or a brainstorming bubble, or something that is leading you where you want to go. Make yourself a map before you start your writing journey. Some of the stops along the way may surprise you, but knowing your ultimate destination will help you keep your focus.

Be willing to take detours. Planning is important, but the actual writing is much more important. It’s when you write that your creativity really begins to flow. It may take you places you didn’t expect to go, and that’s okay. Be willing to explore the side trails your minds takes you on. You may get lost and have to retrace your steps, but you might also find new adventures you never expected. Don’t be afraid to get caught up in your writing and let your mind take you into new territory. A lot of writers tend to write the same things over and over. I’ve written almost the exact same scene, with completely different characters, in at least two books. I’m talking almost verbatim, with dialogue and everything, and I didn’t do it intentionally. A favorite author of mine growing up repeated the same storyline in at least four different fiction series. I read and enjoyed almost everything he wrote, but I remember thinking, “Oh, we’re doing this one again? Really?” If you always stick to the same plan or formula for writing, you may get overly repetitive. Ask yourself new questions. Explore new approaches to a scene or character. Try something you’ve never done before. Even better, try something you refuse to do. If the idea of trekking off into new writing territory makes you nervous, remember that you have a plan. If you veer off to far and don’t like the direction you’re heading, abandon that idea or thought trail and come back to the plan. No writing is ever wasted, even if it never sees the light of day. It’s just practice, and we all need more of that. We don’t get better at writing by thinking about writing, or even by reading about writing. We improve with practice. At the end of the day, it’s better to write something that ends up in the trash than to not write anything at all.

Don’t lose sight of the goal. Is your goal big? Does it scare you? If so, good. If not, that’s okay too. You don’t have to have a big scary goal, but you have to have a goal. Once you have it clear in your mind, keep it in front of you. Write it down. Talk about it. You don’t have to make it the topic of every conversation (because soon most people won’t want to talk to you) but mention it. Elaborate if people ask. Don’t hide your dreams in your heart. Get them out there. Some people won’t understand, some might laugh, but some will be encourage you along the way and a few might even help you. I write my dreams in pink ink. Those pink letters encourage me to keep learning, keep growing, keep working. PinkDreamInk is so important to me that I made it into a brand and adopted it into my image. What about you? Are your dreams hidden away in a dusty corner of your life, or have you put them out for people to see? Don’t let fear keep them hidden. Bring them out, dust them off, breathe life into them, and see what happens next. 

In some ways, an outline or writing plan is like a goal. If you have a plan and you know what you’re working toward, you can track your progress as you get there. Even if you deviate from the plan, it’s still there, keeping you accountable, reminding you of your ultimate destination, your end goal. You can break down your plan and get a good idea for how many scenes or chapters or words you need to write every day or every week in order to meet your deadline. If this sounds too structured for you, if all your feelings resist the idea of boxing yourself in like that, I encourage you to try it anyway. If you find after a month or two that it does, in fact, stifle your writing, you can go back to exercising your creativity freely and without restraint. More power to you. If you’re anything like me, however, you may find that a little planning on the front end goes a long way toward giving you the vision to get to your ending. You can thank me for that later. For now ... just write.

On Doing What You Don’t Want To

Today, I did a workout I didn’t want to do. I’ve been fighting a stomach bug this weekend, nothing too dramatic but it makes me want to lay around, do nothing, and stay close to home. I’m wrapping up an exercise challenge for this month and I didn’t want to get more than a day behind, so I forced myself to do this workout. I knew it would be tough, I knew it wouldn’t feel good, and I didn’t want to do it, but I also knew I needed to do it. So I did. I got through it. I thought it would be a lot worse, than it was, actually. It’s not a long workout, only took about 12 minutes to finish, and muscle memory did most of the work. I’ve been doing these same three moves for nearly a month now so once I started my body just did what it needed to do. Now I’m not sure if my stomach feels any better, but I do feel better about myself.

Clearly, my mind has been focused on challenging myself to do things I haven’t done before, and things I need to do but have been avoiding. There are times in life where it’s good to be content with were you are, and other times when you need to push yourself to do more, be more, accomplish more. Guess which season I’m in right now?

I wrote recently on doing what you can’t. That’s certainly a challenge, but I like a challenge. What is hard for me is doing what I don’t want to. The reasoning behind that is so obvious, I can’t believe I’m going to say it. It’s because ... I don’t want to. Crazy, huh? The absolute hardest thing for me is doing the things I know I need to do, but that I don’t want to do. And worse, I am confronted many times a day with this conundrum. Whether it’s a tough workout when I’d rather be goofing off or taking a nap, making better eating choices, getting up earlier, having an uncomfortable conversation, or taking a scary step that may or may not work out well, I am constantly having to choose to do things I’d rather not. So here are a couple of things I’ve learned about that.

First, you don’t get anywhere in life by refusing to do something just because you don’t want to do it. The hard things, the challenging things, those are the things that grow us. If you’re not where you want to be, ask yourself, what hard thing have you been avoiding?

Second, if you refuse to do something you don’t want to do, you may miss an opportunity you have been hoping for. Sometimes we do things we regret. Sometimes, we DON’T do things, and miss out, and regret that even more. I’ve missed out on so many things because I didn’t want to do the work it would take to accomplish them, or because I was afraid of what might happen if I tried. Sometimes its worth it to take a risk. Even if you fail or get hurt, you can learn a lesson and grow as a person. If you never move forward because you might fail, if you never love because you might get hurt or hurt someone, you will live a sad, boring, empty life. I don’t want that. I’d rather face the tough stuff, do the things I don’t want to, and live a full, meaningful life.

Third, you’re not alone. I was reading Romans 7 today and it’s pretty clear that even the great apostle Paul, whose actions and teaching literally changed the world, struggled with this issue. It’s part of the human condition. We do the bad things we know we shouldn’t. We avoid doing the good things we know we should. It’s a struggle. A certain amount of mental fortitude and stubborn determination can get us pretty far in life, but Paul also gives the secret for when we can’t do enough on our own, and hope for when we fail. The sacrifice of Christ wipes out our bad decisions, the grace of God gives us another chance and the Holy Spirit gives us the power to do both what we can’t and what we don’t want to. As I was reading Romans 7 this morning I was really feeling Paul’s struggle, and also the relief when he concludes by exclaiming, “Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!”

If you’re facing something today that requires doing a good thing that you just don’t want to do, I challenge you to take a deep breath, say a prayer, and just do it. Hopefully, you’ll be glad you did.

On Writing Every Day

Over the next few weeks I’m blogging a series that I’m calling “Stop Thinking About Writing...And Just Write!” Thinking about writing is easy. When I mention that I’m a writer, people often say, “Oh, I’ve thought about writing a book.” My encouragement to anyone who has had that thought is, stop thinking that. Just do it. Writing can be difficult but it’s worth it to give it a try. So here are some of my thoughts on the process. Six thoughts, actually.

#1: Write Every Day

Make success a habit. I’m going to guess that if you’re interested in writing you have at least some creative aspect to your personality, and the idea of routine might be a bad word to you. It brings up these horrible ideas of stifling boredom and sameness and … blah. I feel all those things. I crave freedom and the ability to do what I want when I want to. And yet, I’ve found that my free spirit flourishes when I give it structure and familiarity and yes, even rules. I have very boring daily obligations that must be met so I try to balance that with times when I can just relax and be me and let my creativity flow. So I challenge you, if you’ve never done it before or even if you have, take a look at your daily activity. How are you spending your time? If one thing that keeps you from writing is never having enough time, where can you make some time? Do you have pockets in your day that you can dedicate to writing? I encourage you to find that time every day. A full hour is always best for me but not always possible. If you can squeeze in half an hour to focus on writing when you wake up, or before you sleep, or at lunch, or after work, or any time in your day, do it. Plan to do it every day. Create the systems you need in order to put that plan in motion. Then, when it’s time, sit down with your computer or your preferred writing apparatus and DO IT. Don’t think, “Look at this free time I have. I should do some errands or chores or make a phone call or check social media or sleep …” NO! You will do those things in your other time. When you carve out writing time, use it for writing. Make a habit of it. Because if you don’t, you are not a writer. You’re a poser. That’s right. I said it. Posers think about writing, and say they want to write, and join Facebook groups about writing, and read blogs about writing, but writers write. 

Find what works for you. Create a plan for how and when you will write. When you are planning, don’t forget that important word, Why. Keep your identity and your purpose clear in your mind. Why do you write? Why are you writing what you are writing today? Are there other words you need to get out before you can focus on this project? Keep your goals, objectives, and most importantly, your purpose, clear in your mind so that you can confidently focus on your writing. What you write is part of who you are, and reveals who you are to the world around you. You have something to contribute, a unique voice that no one else has. Find it. 

Creating a plan is only one step toward creating the habit of writing. If you start your plan and find it doesn’t work for you, you have permission to make adjustments and find what does work. Before giving up a plan, I do encourage you to really try it out first. It can be tempting to give up on something before you’ve really put an effort into it, especially if you’re feeling nervous or uncertain about it. With anything new, commit to working at it for awhile before deciding it doesn’t work for you. Then if you know it really doesn’t, let it go and try something else.

Stick with it. If you don’t feel like getting up, remind yourself that you’re a writer and that you have to get up and write. If you just want to go to bed, tell yourself to write for half an hour and then you can sleep. If your list of things to do tempts you to skip writing for today, add writing to your to-do list and get it done. Life happens. We can set ourselves up for success but we can’t control everything. We get distracted and interrupted. Illnesses, vacations, and events disrupt our rhythm. We can always find reasons not to write, or at least to put it off for now, but let’s not waste the work we’ve done to determine why we write and give ourselves space to do it. Missing one day of writing might not seem to be a big deal, but what if I skip today and then something comes up tomorrow, and I find something else to do the day after that? That carefully crafted creature of habit is easy to destroy. Skipped days turn into weeks and then we’re back to thinking about writing and not actually doing it.

When it comes to pursuing any goal, including writing, we often get in our own way. It’s important to deal with obstacles and objections and keep going, rather than get sidelined by them. If you do need to step away from your writing for some reason, make yourself a promise that you will get back to it, preferably at a specific day and time. Set reminders, create accountability, take care of whatever it is that is pulling you away, and then come back.

Okay writers, I want to hear from you. But I want you to do something important first. Write something. It can be anything. A poem, a journal, a story, a rant about something that bothered you today, a personal manifesto, a love letter. It doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be something. The more you do it, the easier it will be. Start your writing habit right now. Take a few minutes and write. Be a writer. And then come back and tell me how it went.

On Doing What You Can't

There is a commercial that aired during the Olympics that keeps sticking in my mind. You know a commercial has a powerful message when you keep thinking of it months later. This one was a Samsung commercial but like many commercials that run during sports broadcasts recently, it only subtly featured products, instead promoting an inspirational idea. This particular commercial focused on the word “can’t” and showed a variety people failing at what they’re trying to do, only to find inspiration to try again and succeed. The tag line of the spot is “Do What You Can’t” and it embodies the spirit of the Olympics, which I love. Run faster, jump higher, be stronger, do more and be more than what anyone thought was possible before. Even you. 

What is it about the human spirit that strives for the impossible? To look failure in the face and say “I can’t do it... but I will anyway”? I believe it is a hint that we were made for more than what we are right now. We are not gods, shouting to the universe and commanding it to obey, but we are created in the image of God, who spoke the universe into existence. His power at work in us makes the impossible seem achievable. 

But what about when tasks are too difficult? When obstacles are insurmountable? When weakness, or illness, or failure cannot be overcome? We are all human. If you live long enough you will come against something that knocks you down so hard and so repeatedly that you are too defeated to go on. What then?

This may sound crazy, but I suggest that you do something you can’t. Learn a new skill. Find a new opportunity. Make the most of what is available to you and stretch beyond your belief about what is possible. Then come back to the impossible thing, the broken heart, the difficult relationship, the frustrating job, the dismal future. You may find that what once seemed impossible now whispers “but it can be done. You can do it."

This year, I’ve set out on a journey to create a career and a future for myself that requires hard work, dedication, and learning new things. When it comes to working for myself, I have some bad history to overcome. My past is littered with failed endeavors, unfinished business, and great ideas that never came to fruition. But this time is different. I am older, wiser, I know more about the world and myself, and I am determined to make this work. More on what “this” is later but I’ll give you a hint: It has to do with writing.

The easiest path is the straightest and smoothest, but the difficult, rocky paths often reward us with the best views. It is easy to simply give up, to say “I’ll never be better than what I am now” or “I’m stuck in this job/house/relationship forever, it will never get better” or any of the other lies we convince ourselves to believe. What if, instead, you change your mind about what is possible? What would you do if you could not fail, if you had no limits? What if you went ahead and reached for that? I’m not promising miracles. You might fail. We are taught to fear failure as though it is our enemy, but it isn’t. Failure shows us how not to do something. It shows us where we didn’t work hard enough. It shows us that perhaps we should expend our efforts elsewhere. We learn from failure until we succeed. It’s just a step in the process. 

There are some things in life that truly are impossible. I learned at an early age that I could not fly or become a shape-shifter, no matter how badly I wanted it. But I could write about flying, and shape-shifting, and take others along for the ride. Sometimes when you want the impossible, you can still look it in the face and find your dreams. Sometimes we come up against the impossible so that we will turn to God, for whom nothing is impossible. The human spirit is powerful but God’s Spirit is all-powerful. Impossible doesn’t have to mean the end. It can be the beginning of more than you ever imagined. So go on. Do what you can’t. I dare you.

On the 30 Day Plank Challenge

Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

At the end of February, I tossed out a quick question on Facebook. I said I was thinking of doing one of those 30-Day plank challenges that have been floating around Pinterest and asked if anyone wanted to join me. To my surprise, people did. So I started a group, posted the challenge, got friend to make me some cool images for the daily posts, and invited everyone to comment once they had finished the challenge for the day. Ten people made it halfway through the challenge and three or four made it all the way to the end. I didn’t get to my goal, which was a five minute plank, but I know at least one guy did. Jamie Thurston, you are a plank hero.

Here’s what I learned by planking (almost) every day for a month:

Planks are hard. They focus on abdominal muscles but challenge and tone the entire body. How do I know? Because I have a mirror, that’s how. Shoulders, legs, back all toned up during March, and by the end I could actually see abdominal definition. I don’t post workout selfies so you’ll have to take my word for it but yeah, planks work.

I hate planks. Wow they are so boring. Just sort of hanging there, holding myself up, for one...two...three...minutes...and more. Exhausting. And painful. Several people had to drop out of the challenge because it was too hard on their joints or backs. If you don’t have much abdominal strength going into a plank challenge, beware. It is possible to hurt yourself. Don’t do that.

Planks are mentally challenging as well as physically challenging. If I am going to hold a plank for a long time, I have to approach it with a positive attitude. If I go into it thinking, “I can’t do this, it’s too hard,” then guess what? I can’t do it. It’s too hard. But if I start out thinking, “I can do this. I’ve done it before. I’m strong enough for this. I can handle it,” I often end up holding that darn plank for a lot longer than I ever thought I could. My longest in March was three and a half minutes. I really wanted to get to four but I tell you what, four minutes is a really long time when you’re holding a plank. I couldn’t convince myself to do it.

Planks are effective exercise. Some days, I only had time to plank and I didn’t get the rest of my workout in, but the next day I still felt like I had done a decent workout. That isometric stuff is no joke. After a couple minutes my heart rate would be up as high as it usually is in the middle of a tough yoga class or a good 15-20 minute circuit. I’m not saying you should only plank, but I am saying if you can plank and you only have a couple minutes to “exercise” you could give it a try.

I think that pretty much covers it. It was a fun challenge and I may do more in the future, so keep an eye out for future invites if you’re interested. And if you come across a month-long fitness challenge that looking interesting, pass it along. 

How do you feel about planks? Have you ever participated in a month-long exercise challenge? What did you think?

On America Today

So many people have spoken out on their thoughts about this election. Many are better writers with bigger audiences. I’m not intending to add to the discourse with my post. I just want to record my thoughts. If you’re reading this, welcome to my mind. You can agree with me or disagree with me, but please don’t call me any of the mean names I’ve seen people throw around on Facebook and elsewhere. I am guilty of doing it in private, among friends, because let’s face it, I’m frustrated. I think most of the country is at this point. But I refuse to stoop to that level in a public forum, even if my “public” is only 20 or so readers.

Here are the facts, as I see them:

We live in a broken nation full of broken people.

Honestly, I’m tired of it. Tired of the name-calling, the violence, the undiluted hate. I could say “from both sides” but are there two sides? Really? To some extent I think we all have our own “side.” We have fostered an environment where anything goes, seeking our own pleasure and happiness, “being real and authentic” no matter the cost, even to those we profess to love. Above all, we love ourselves. And now we are beginning to see how this culture of selfishness has eaten away at our identity as a nation. How preaching relative truth eventually causes lives and philosophies so full of contradiction that one might dare to look at it objectively and see hypocrisy. I have seen people preach love, kindness, and acceptance, while also spouting hate, vindictiveness, and intolerance, within the same post. I’m looking at you, liberals. And you too, conservatives. And the rest of you, whatever you are calling yourselves these days. And just in case anyone is worried that I think I’m somehow better, I’ve been tempted to do the same thing.

I read one post telling me everything I don’t understand about why some people are so upset about the results of this election. I had to laugh at the irony and shake my head because I do understand. I am very accustomed to voting for candidates and issues that lose. I fully understand the sense of grief and horror that comes with the realization that this nation is far from where it should be. Our systems are broken. Our people are broken, divided, aggressively opposed to each other over beliefs and ideologies and the horrors we inflict on each other. I have felt that way for 20 years. Please don’t tell me I don’t understand. We may have different beliefs and practices, and I may not really understand why some believe differently than I do. I can respect another person’s background, culture, and beliefs, while still retaining my own conviction that some faiths are wrong, some behaviors are sinful, and that there is one true God and that his truth is absolute. My love for all people leads me to pray every day that I would have opportunities to share my faith and God’s love. Keeping silent is a betrayal of my own belief. If you saw a loved one in danger and you could warn them about what was coming, would it be kind and loving to keep silent and let them make their own choice based on misleading or incomplete information? Would you stand at a distance and argue with them about the danger? Or would you scream in desperation and push them out of the way?

This moment in history is crucial but it is not unique. We didn’t suddenly wake up yesterday morning and find ourselves in an alien landscape. The conflicts we see lived out in the streets and in our families and on social media are not new. This nation is not where we are now because a few voters in a few states chose one candidate over the other. We are where we are because of the last 200+ years of our history. We are where we are now because the vision of the people who founded this nation is crumbling under the weight of selfishness and a multitude of bad decisions. America has always been a land of diversity and we have never handled it well. This was not our one chance to get it right. We have had chances to get it right for over 200 years and we have failed for that length of time.

What Americans need today is not a political answer, we need a savior. That savior is not Donald Trump, or Hillary Clinton, or anyone in any government office. That Savior is Jesus.

On Conversation Skills

I am at a Writer’s Workshop at the beautiful Glen Eyrie Conference Center (and Castle!) in Colorado Springs. If you’ve never been here, it looks like this:

Be jealous.

I’m super excited about this workshop. I’ve wanted to come to this for years. But right off I faced a potentially terrifying situation. There are I think maybe 80 or so people here and I don’t know any of them. At all. I walked onto the lovely terrace and saw all these people talking to each other and thought Oh dear, what now?

So here’s the thing. I might be an introvert. But then again I might be an extrovert. Honestly I’ve never been able to figure that out. I like people but I’m not exactly super social. I like meeting new people but I feel awkward in situations where I don’t know anyone. Over the years I’ve learned something that I’ve found extremely useful in situations where I know absolutely no one in a crowd of people: Conversation skills. Oh, and coffee helps a lot too.

So if you’re about to encounter one of those awkward situations, here’s my advice: Guzzle your coffee beverage of choice, find someone who looks equally as awkward as you feel, and ask, “Can I join you?” Then you ask questions. Start out simple. Ask their name. Where they’re from. What they do for a living. Listen. Ask more questions. Listen more. Smile. Laugh. It’s a simple enough concept but there are plenty of people in the world who are too shy to take the initiative to do it. Guess what? I am extremely shy. Or I used to be, before I learned to talk to people. If I could, I would thank all the beautiful ladies in Mary Kay who taught me how to do it.

I have no idea how well I did with this today but I met some people and had pleasant conversations. I’m pretty sure I talked too much, too loud, and too fast, and I laughed too much (thanks, coffee!) The thing is, writers are not often conversationalists. We love words but we prefer them on pages or screens, crafted painstakingly over multiple drafts. Conversations are just so...spontaneous. Original. Uneditable. Potentially awkward and yes, even terrifying.

Here’s a secret: I pretend to be way more confident than I am. I guide conversations like I know what I’m doing but I’m constantly wondering if people think I’m annoying. I engage in genuine conversation and I sincerely care about what people have to say but there’s always a little voice in my head ticking off pace and telling me things like, “ok you need to shut up now and let the other person talk” or “ok take it down a notch. Drat the caffeine.” I suppose that means I’m not a natural conversationalist. I do have to work at it. Still, I find it is always worth the effort. I love people. I love their stories, their energy, the expressions on their faces when they talk. I can dominate a conversation if I want to or I can let it happen around me. I might be annoying. I might be loud. But at least I can carry on a conversation when I need to. It’s a skill worth brushing off from time to time.

On Why Weak Characters are Plot Killers

Much has been said on the subject of plot vs. characters. I'm not sure why it's a debate. When writing fiction, you have a plot, and you have characters. Both are equally important. No one cares about the plot unless they care about the characters, and no one wants to read stories about people who never do anything.

I have heard a sage piece of writing advice, passed down from writer to writer until no one knows who first said it: “Every scene must move the plot forward.” It is true. Each scene must have a purpose, and even if the main purpose is character development or setting, it must tie to the plot somehow. It's easy to get carried away writing a scene that has developed in my head and forget about this important truth. That's why books are written on plot and structure and why outlines are important, to remind creative writers not to get so carried away with their creativity and their characters that they lose the plot. But it's also possible to become so tied to your plot that you lose your characters. And when you lose your characters, you lose your readers. That, my writer friends, is a disaster.

I'm reading a book right now with a compelling plot, and for the most-part, well-developed characters. The main character is a very sensitive soul who's just trying to make sense of the world she gets snatched into, and the people who inhabit it. She is lost and bewildered and not entirely sure what exactly she is or how she fits into this world, but she has a sense of who she is that cannot be shaken. Some of the secondary characters are very well-drawn as well, relatable and true to themselves. But one character, the love interest, is inconsistent to the point that no one in the book knows who he really is or what he's about, and neither does the reader. There are hints in the book that he has this great shadowy secret in his past and that perhaps his odd behavior will make sense once the truth is revealed. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm expected to like him because the protagonist likes him, for some inexplicable reason. He is bad but not all bad, and good but not all good, shrouded in mystery and I suppose that's why this girl is drawn to him and why I should be, too. But I'm not.

I've seen this done before. When a character is supposed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, the kind that nice girls fall in love with despite their best intentions, there is a tendency to create such a thick veil of mystery around this character that no one can penetrate it, so that no glimmer of his real character can come shining through. In my opinion, this is a mistake. It is impossible to relate to, and therefore care about, a character who is not true to himself. And it is impossible for a character to be true to himself when no one except the author knows what sort of character he really is. It is such a subtle writing flaw that it's hard to explain but I always know it when I see it: It is character sacrificed for plot. The author knows the secret about this character, obviously. But in hiding the secret beneath levels of deceit, they have left the readers with nothing to grasp about the character. He is important. The book begins from his point of view. The only thing we really know for sure is that he cares deeply about his friend who is dying. He lies about everything else. Well, I can't care about a character who lies and only loves one person. That doesn't make sense.

In every interaction that the protagonist has with this love interest, you can see the plot ticking forward to some inevitable conclusion. It is clear to me that the author put more emphasis on developing the plot than on developing this character into someone I know and can therefore invest myself in. This is not an amateur mistake. This is a popular book written by a best-selling author. It's not a bad book, either. This character development flaw isn't frustrating enough to make me want to toss the book aside, but it is frustrating. It could have been done better.

So what can we learn from this? Know your characters. Let your readers get to know your characters. Even if you build them up as one sort of person and then reveal them as something completely different. That can be a great twist. If you've got a bad boy, then let us see him being bad instead of just letting him brag about it. Don't let him claim to be something he's not. If he has a heart of gold, then show us that. “Save the cat” is a cliche but it works because it shows compassion for the weak and helpless. If he’s conflicted, let us see his conflict, without hiding who he is. A poorly developed character kills your beautifully developed plot. Don't let any of your characters commit plot murder. Let them commit murder in your story if you must, but don't let them kill your plot. Your readers will thank you, and keep reading.

More On Time

Time is a concrete absolute. Minutes pass, the sun changes position in the sky, seasons change and time marches on. Lately I've noticed how fluid and subjective our perception of time is. We're so familiar with this concept that it's built into our language. Time flies when you're having fun. That line took forever to move. I lost track of time.

Some days or hours seem to speed up or slow down depending on how much we are or are not enjoying ourselves. I observed recently after being asleep for an hour and having three different dreams that seemed to take several hours each, that dreams are proof that the human mind really can handle the concept of eternity. We are not as bound to time as we think we are. But despite that, time continues to pass, marching at its own rhythm, whether we want it to or not. 

I've been thinking about this lately as I watch my children growing up. They are my babies, but I see less of babies and more of children in them all the time. Their ingenuity, their growing perception of the world around them, their language and understanding is always changing, maturing, leaving babyhood behind forever. And although I'm not a baby person at all, and I'm glad I can have somewhat meaningful conversations with them now, there are moments that I wish I could store in a bottle and keep forever. When my son learns a new word or my daughter sits in the grass in her Cinderella dress and looks like she's contemplating some deep secret of life, or when they play together in that style unique to siblings, when they're cooperating and endearing one moment and screaming and fighting the next. Toddler tantrums are something I could live without but toddler language is delightful. And the hugs. I know someday I'll miss the hugs. 

So here's what I wonder. Do we get to keep these moments? How clear will our memories be in that mysterious plane of existence that we call heaven? Will we get a chance to sit and relive these times that make this brief life sweet and worth living? I don't know what time or memory will look like in eternity, but I know there are moments that I never want to forget.

On Film Scores

I like to listen to film scores while I write. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. They're dramatic and usually instrumental so they inspire dramatic thoughts without a lot of distraction from lyrics. I mean, I love lots of music and lots of artists, including Adele and Josh Groban and Pentatonix and Rend Collective, but there's a time and a place for those. (Adele: Sad love stories. Josh Groban: Angsty love stories. Pentatonic: Fun. Rend: Spiritual thoughts. You get the idea?) Film scores are good general writing music to block out the silence of home or whatever annoying stuff they're playing at Starbucks.

I usually stream music from Amazon because I have Prime so it's free and I've never bothered to learn to use Pandora or Spotify or even iTunes, shocking I know but it's true. I listen to several different scores "stations" and playlists from Amazon and I find myself playing a silly game in my head when it comes to music I don't recognize. It's called "guess the composer" and it's silly because it's remarkably easy, even for someone like me who doesn't have a music degree. I like music and I'm married to someone with a music degree so I guess that's why I play the game in the first place. So here's how it works: First, there are the top three to choose from. John Williams, James Horner, and Hans Zimmer. They're the easiest because they've composed so many well known scores and they all have some signature sound that gives them away. But they haven't composed everything, I mean there are other people out there writing music and they're pretty good too. So if it's not one of them, the next step is to decide what other film score it sounds like and see if it's the same person. Why is this so easy? Well, if you spend any time listening to scores for the music, not the movie, and if you know anything about music history at all, you know that composers are identified as writing certain styles of music for a reason. Not quite that it all sounds the same...it's like an author's "voice." One reason why we like particular authors and not others is because we like (or don't like) how they tell their stories. Not just the words and the writing style but the voice you can hear in your head when you read it. Some authors spend years and lots of money on classes to find their voice, and some just sort of naturally have it. Well, in my very musically uneducated way, I'm going to say that it's very similar composers. Do they "borrow" from their own work? Oh sure, all the time. You just have to listen to Star Wars, Superman, and Indiana Jones (John Williams) in close succession to realize that. James Horner has a particular horn riff that gives him away. Titanic and Braveheart sound very similar, and not just because of the bagpipes. Hans Zimmer, well I suppose there's a reason he keeps saying he's not going to score any more superhero films and then he does anyway. Because he's really, really good at it.

So today I was listening to another random list of film scores that included a selection from Epic, an animated film which I've never seen. I thought, hmm, this has got to be the same person who wrote the score for the first Batman film, the one with Michael Keaton. So I looked it up and yep, Danny Elfman. So I guess I win again. I also enjoy it when I hear something that sounds so original that I can't guess who wrote it. Since I'm only competing with myself I don't keep track of my points but it's fun anyway. And I keep collecting music for my writing playlist, which is another win.

How about you? Have you ever played guess the composer? Do you have favorite film soundtracks I can add to my collection?

On Writing Time and Other Frustrations

As I've worked for the last month or two on a fairly clearly defined "writing schedule," I'm finding that getting time to write is difficult. I clearly understand why I had been making such slow progress on my previous project. In this day and age I think the myth of the "stay at home" mother who does nothing but sleep late and go on nature walks and make adorable craft projects with her perfectly behaved children, or whatever it is that we supposedly do all day, has been dispelled. In reality, it is hard work that consumes most of a mom's time and energy with very little immediate reward or visible progress, other than children who are alive, fed, and somewhat for the most part groomed. It is more than a full time job, it's a life's work that for several years is pretty much the only life we have time for. Personal pursuits such as part-time careers, hobbies and interests, are always secondary. And by secondary I mean they fall somewhere in the approximately 5% of time left after chasing kids around and trying (often failing) to run a household, eating, and sleeping. For me, finding time to write has meant making sacrifices in one or more of those areas. And I'm not the kind of person who sacrifices easily, especially when the sacrifices I make also mean asking the most important people in my life to sacrifice time and convenience, too.

So far, even though I'm supposedly writing on a schedule, that hasn't looked much like writing. There's been a lot of trying to research and outline and failing either because schedules fall through, other important things come up, or I forget essential items like my brainstorming notebook. Which, incidentally, is why I'm sitting at Starbucks writing this blog post this evening instead of outlining my book. It's been rather frustrating. I have made progress, although not nearly as much as I'd hoped to by this point. I'm looking at my anticipated first draft start date of June 1st and panicking a little. Sometimes a lot. From my conversations with other writers I know it's fairly common to have a certain level of anxiety surrounding a project, particularly if there is a deadline involved. So the fact that I keep wondering if I can really write this book, if I can write it on time, if anyone will want to read it once it's written, if I really have what it takes to be a writer or if I'm just a poser, is apparently not unusual. But it is moderately painful. Sometimes I'm just tired. Writing is work, and when you write from home you work when you can whether or not you feel like it, but the fact is that when I'm tired and distracted the plots and outlines and words don't flow very well as when I'm at least moderately rested and focused and alert.

The good news is, I have time. I have a fairly generous deadline. I have plenty of time to not only write but also revise and polish up my manuscript before I turn it in. I have hope that it will get better soon, as I settle into this new routine and start the actual writing. But today I'm a little low on inspiration and energy and not quite loving this writing life.

On Mythology

The project I'm working on currently involves some well-known mythological characters, so I've been doing research into these characters and the stories that surround them. It's fun research because I get to read some imaginative stories, including novels, which are always my favorite. I'm learning that it's possible to get creative with mythology, because that's what people do. There's no such thing as maintaining historical accuracy because over the years people have turned these folks into whatever they want. Which means I get to do the same thing. As long as certain names, places, and things maintain a sense of familiarity, I can build on the mythological foundation and add my own piece to the structure. And that sounds really fun.

I'm making progress with my plot. In all the writing I've done previously, I've started with characters and then created a story. This time I'm starting with a plot and adding characters. In terms of craft it's a pretty subtle difference, and I'm approaching my outline the same way I normally would. But it feels weird to me because there are some characters who I don't have names for yet. I'm not good with names anyway. So I just think of them as "so and so" or as someone's dad or friend or goat. Actually that's not entirely true. The goat's name is Una.

My plan is to spend the rest of this month outlining, and launch into the actual writing beginning in June. I've tweaked my schedule and hopefully soon I'll feel more comfortable with this writing like it's a job thing. If you're reading this and you're one of my writer friends, I'll finally be ready to do some writing sprints in June so hit me up on Facebook and Twitter and stuff.

Today's blog is short (like me, haha) but I wanted to check in and update things for those of you who have been asking "how's the writing going?" Short answer: I'm happy with my progress. Long answer: Weeelll, I'm technically not exactly writing, not yet anyway. But I have most of a plot and I'm going to to some pretty mean things to my main character and I think she has a pet goat. I'm looking forward to writing this book. It might be painful but I think it will be good.

On Research (and Libraries)

I'm a week into my cleaning and research projects, and I'm excited to announce that I have an acceptable place to write while I'm at home, a weekly schedule that includes daily and weekly tasks I've been bad about neglecting lately, a stack of books from my library awaiting perusal, and a TBR (To Be Read) list that is growing daily.

I love books. I love real, physical books most of all but there are advantages to ebooks as well. Mostly, I'm finding, one of the advantages is availability. It feels strange to say this, with my dust-collecting Master's degree being less than ten years old, but I come from an old-school library background. Maybe transitional is a better word. We did online classes and electronic databases but the physical collection, number of volumes as well as useful content, was still a matter of pride. Shelf space was as issue. My experience was also limited to academic libraries. So I was somewhat surprised during my trip to the local public library to discover that they have weeded out a large portion of their physical collection. There are still books available, but many of them have been dispersed among various branches. Luckily for me they have a terrific hold system which allows me to place holds on items, even from home, even for books held in my "home" branch's collection, and pick them up in the holds area the next day. As a former library assistant in Interlibrary Loan who delighted in rejecting patron requests because they were available in our physical collection (I'm a much nicer person now), I admit I find this system perfectly suited to my needs, and I take full advantage of it. Hey if they want to let clerks comb the shelves for potentially misshelved or missing items and save me the trouble of doing that myself, I say go for it. And then of course there's the whole world of internet and electronic resources. In this modern age, I can do all the research I need from home, or if that is too loud and crazy, my neighborhood Starbucks.

All that to say, I'm content to work with what I have. I'm the kind of person who does what it takes to get the job done, whatever that means to me, and not really the kind of person who goes far above and beyond what is necessary to ferret out every minuscule factual and anecdotal detail about a place, a time, or a group of people in order to move forward on my project. If I can get a good general picture of who people were, what they called themselves, how and where they lived, what they valued and how they spoke and what ate and wore and what kind of pets they had, I'm good with that. A benefit of fiction-oriented research is I can also use fiction to inform my world. What other authors have written about people and places is, after all, part of the body of literature on the topic. So I get to read textbooks, articles, children's books, encyclopedias, and yes, even novels and wikipedia, in my hunt for information. And all along the way, my mind is churning as I imagine new characters and how they will fit into this world, finding flashes of inspiration for their journey through it. It's so fun that I occasionally stop and wonder at the fact that I'm actually getting paid for this. This is literally a dream come true for me. Somebody remind me of that a few months from ago when I'm agonizing over a plot that's not moving properly and characters that just won't behave the way I thought they would. Deal?

On A New Project

Once again, I've let my blog lapse for nearly a year, not because I didn't have anything to say (I always do), but because I didn't necessarily feel that this was the time or place to say it. Now that I have some interesting new happenings in my writer life, I'm renewing my blogging efforts. I'm hoping to give my blog/website a fresh new look later this year, but for now, welcome back to Allie On Life. I've missed this. Have you?

So, what are these new writerly happenings? Here's what I can tell you: Earlier this year the CEO of Lineage Media and Solutions hired me and a couple other authors to write some novels to tie in with some of the company's creative projects. Last week, we met for two days at the office in beautiful Bellevue, WA to connect and collaborate and discover the world these novels are set in, as well as the plots and characters of our books, and how they all tie together in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. To say that it was fun would be an understatement. I'm hoping I played it cool and professional, like hanging out with other authors is something I totally do and I totally know what I'm talking about and all that, but basically I was geeking out for two days straight and IT WAS AWESOME!!

And now I'm going to write an actual book that other people are actually going to read. Again, playing it cool while totally doing the inner geek out thing. This is gonna be so fun. And crazy. And hard. And you, dear reader, whether you be real or imaginary (because imaginary friends are people too) are invited along for the ride.

The book I'm writing is basically a historical fantasy written from a Christian worldview. At least that's how I'm choosing to describe it. I'm keeping the title and premise secret because it's just so awesome that the world isn't ready for it quite yet. Is that sarcasm? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you'll never know...

Because this is a historical novel, I'm starting out with historical research. Oh. Yes. I'm trying not to get too carried away because there is a book to write, sooner rather than later but hey have I ever mentioned I have a BA in History and an MLS in Library and Information Science? Well, I do. And yes it's been awhile since I've had a chance to do some historical research so yes I'm excited about the chance to do it. And yes there are people in the world who enjoy research. We're called nerds, people. There are a lot more of us out there than you'd think. Why do you think The Big Bang Theory is such a popular show? It's because everyone either knows a nerd or is a nerd. But I digress...

Along with the fun stuff about writing, like hanging out and talking about writerly things with other writers, and historical research, and plotting, and actually writing, there's some boring housekeeping kinds of stuff. Some of it is quite literally housekeeping. I need to create a space in my house where I can be a writer, since at the moment I'm a little bit too broke to rent a table (buy a latte) at Starbucks three or four times a week. I also need to make myself a schedule since the one or two hours a week that I've spent writing lately will not be enough to write a real actual novel in time for my real actual deadline. So this week I'll probably use most of my writing time for things like that, and setting up my notebook, and starting things like a basic outline and a list of questions that I'm hoping my research will answer. I'll check in here periodically to give an update on how things are going. You are cordially invited to tag along via this blog. I'm hoping it'll be a fun ride.

On Exercise

One decision really can change your life.

Notice I said it can, not that it will. I've made lots of decisions, only to fail in the follow through. Last year, however, I made a decision that I stuck to with commitment and determination, and it really has changed my life. I decided to start exercising.

Let me be clear: I hated exercise. It was hard, it hurt for days later, and I'm really clutzy and uncoordinated, so just figuring out how to do exercises the right way is a real challenge. But I didn't like the fact that it was hard to carry my 18-month-old son up and down the stairs in our house, and that I couldn't walk around the block without huffing and puffing. I also hated my jeans size and my arms. Most of all I hated my arms. My arms were the breaking point. Maybe no one else noticed, but to me they looked like unsightly blobs just sort of hanging off my shoulders. Not pretty.

Toward the end of May, I saw one of those 30-day challenge things in my Facebook newsfeed. You were supposed to join this event and do three exercises (squats, push-ups, and leg lifts) every day and BOOM, you'd have toned arms, abs, and legs for a summer of shorts, tank tops, and swimsuits. So here's the one decision I made: I decided I hated my arms more than I hated exercise. I didn't do anything drastic. I didn't join a gym, or even that event. There was an image that had a calendar and three exercises for every day. So I stole the image (yep. I did) and committed to it. I'd heard it takes 21 days to form a habit so I thought if I exercised every day for a month maybe I'd just keep exercising for the rest of my life and create a healthier existence for myself.

It started off easy enough, something like 10 squats, 10 leg lifts, and a couple pushups. To be clear, at that point in my life I couldn't do one pushup. I tried. Not even one. I could do a few of the girly modified ones from my knees, so that's where I started. And oh my, I hated it. I hated it every day for a month. I remember thinking that 21 days is not long enough for me to form a habit, because I did it for 21 days straight and still hated it and would have happily given it up. But I was starting to see results. My arms didn't look so bad. My waist was coming back. I don't wear shorts, but I could have and not been totally self-conscious. I thought it might be worth it to keep going and see if I could maybe get back into my smaller jeans. The challenge was to get up to 100 squats, 100 leg lifts, and 40 pushups by the end of June, and I didn't do that. I leveled off at 50, 50, and 20. I was motivated, but not that motivated! After a couple months I started getting bored so I added in some videos a couple days a week, and a few more exercises. Like burpees. I don't know why I started doing burpees, and I still hate them, but I can do them and they seemed like a decent challenge so I kept doing them.

After about three months, I woke up one morning and realized I don't hate exercising anymore. It's been a year now, and I think I kind of like it. I exercise in the morning, before my kids wake up, because I just can't do it when they're around. I've tried and it's impossible. And I never exercise for more than half an hour because that seems excessive. I have friends who do the gym thing and that's cool. I don't want to see other people working out and I don't want them to see me, and I don't like equipment or monthly fees, and occasionally I can be highly self-motivated, so I just keep doing the home thing. I mix it up, talk to friends or look on the internet to find ways to change my routine when I get bored. I have a yoga app (FitStar Yoga) that I really like and use a few times a week, and I just started a new app (the 7 Minute Workout Challenge) that is going well so far. Just this morning I did 10 real pushups and I felt like a rock star. And although I've slacked off here and there during the holidays or when I had the flu, for the most part I continue to get up and do my morning exercise routine about 3-5 times a week. A year later, I can carry my kids around and lift cases of water in the grocery store, I'm wearing smaller jeans, I've lost maybe five pounds, and I don't hate my arms. Success!

Sometimes all it takes is one decision, with commitment and follow-through, to change your life. What are some decisions you have made? Or need to make?

On Avoiding Sugar

So I decided I'd like to lose some weight. I've been exercising consistently for awhile now (more on that in a later post) and although I'm seeing results in the mirror, I wasn't seeing them on the scale. Normally, I'm not a dieter. The very thought makes me want to do burpees. I hate burpees. But I thought, just as an experiment more than anything, I'd try avoiding sugar for about three weeks in April. Nothing too drastic. I think I might have lost a pound or two, but I learned some interesting things. Here are some of them:

Sugar is in everything

Okay, maybe not everything. But seriously. I was only avoiding sugar and other added sweeteners, but I swear, it's almost impossible to avoid added sugar unless you are also avoiding carbs, dairy, and processed foods, just to name a few. I actually had considered doing a Whole 30, a program that a friend of mine had recommended. I chickened out on that and just avoided sugar instead, but it turns out that's harder than I thought it would be. If I ever try this again, I'm going to go with the carb-counting method I learned from my nutrition consultation when I had gestational diabetes, or just suck it up and do the Whole 30.

Sugar makes me sick

Not even kidding. On one Sunday morning, after I'd been avoiding sugar for about a week, I accidentally ate two cookies out of habit. About 30 minutes later, I felt terrible. Heart rate went wacky, stomach felt icky, and I got a headache. Then went I went back to eating sugar on my daughter's birthday, I overloaded and believe me, I felt it. Clearly my body doesn't handle it well. Sadly, I know that and I just keep eating the stuff anyway.

Some things actually taste good without sugar

First, I should probably confess that although I significantly reduced my sugar intake, I also increased one of my other guilty pleasures: butter. I love butter. Possibly more than sugar. Yes, I realize that eating more butter probably balanced out eating less sugar, and could be the reason I didn't lose more than a pound or two, but I just kept telling myself that butter was better for me than sugar anyway. So I ate it on toast. Smeared it on pancakes and covered that with strawberries (yes I know pancakes have sugar. I checked the label. See? Everything has sugar) I cooked stuff in it. And it was delicious. Believe me, if a little butter is good, more butter is better.

Okay, enough about butter. I drink a lot of coffee. With creamer and flavored syrup and yes, sometimes whipped cream. All the good stuff. Well, I wasn't about to give up coffee - I've tried that, with disastrous consequences - but I was good and didn't put sugar in it. Sometimes I drank it black. I can do that. I like coffee. Sometimes I did put milk in it. And half and half. See what I mean about dairy? It's a problem. But anyway, I discovered that plain, unsweetened lattes are actually really tasty. So now I'll have my grande hazelnut latte with just one pump of syrup instead of three or four and guess what? It still tastes like an indulgent treat. A little bit of heaven. Happiness in a cup.

I also learned that plain yogurt isn't actually that nasty. Especially if you put raspberries or blueberries and a teeny dribble of vanilla in it. Or a teaspoon honey. Strictly speaking, honey is an added sweetener (read: sugar) but it sure does make yogurt palatable. And we get honey from a local guy who has his own bees, not the fake crap from the grocery store. So there. Anyway, just today I had some yogurt with raspberries and honey, and I didn't gag.

Also, homemade Chex Mix is really, really good.

Talking about what I'm not eating makes people uncomfortable

So much of our social interaction revolves around food. I gave up sugar and suddenly people were apologizing for eating it or making stuff with it, or asking me if I'd like dessert and then looking all guilty when I said no. I just wanted to make a sign that says "Please excuse me if my personal food choices are making you feel bad. Get over it." Instead, I decided that if I ever go on any kind of diet again (somewhat unlikely) I'm not going to tell people about it. It's just more trouble than it's worth. So yeah, maybe I'll just eat the brownie at the potluck. It's not gonna kill me. It's kind of like when the Apostle Paul talks about food in 1 Corinthians 8. Do what you have to do. But don't throw it in people's faces. Be kind, and gracious, and let other people eat what they want. It's a good approach to food, and to life.

So much for my brief excursion into dieting. Even if it was short and rather limited. My biggest conclusion? I actually don't eat that much sugar. I could eat less. But there's a reason why I'd rather exercise. I love food. All the food. That is all.

On The Avengers: Age of Ultron

Just like pretty much everyone else in America, I saw the new Avengers movie this week. And now, for your entertainment, I present my spoiler-free take on the film.

First of all, if you can, go with friends. Movies are just more fun with friends. I'd say this is a good date movie but I'm not sure what that means. As with most movies, Greg grudgingly went along with me to see it because he knew I would never let him hear the end of it if he didn't go. In his defense, he does like the Avengers. We also went with three other friends. The great thing about seeing Marvel movies with friends is that they are funny movies, and it's fun to laugh with friends. I mean, I don't know about you, but that's pretty much why I have friends. Right? Also, I like to talk about movies after seeing them, which is much more enjoyable if you're with a group and you've all just seen the same movie together. Bonus points if you or at least a couple of your friends are some level of Marvel geek, because then you can have heated discussions about things like Civil Wars and Infinity Stones and explain minute points that either everyone already knows or no one cares about. And more bonus points if you get more than one funny look from the server at the restaurant you go to hang out at after the movie.

So anyway. The Avengers. Quick synopsis: The volatile crew of superheroes known as the Avengers (or as Greg likes to call them, the league of beautiful people) is working to recover Loki's nasty scepter that caused so much trouble in the last movie. This becomes a problem, we eventually figure out why, there's lots of drama, interpersonal relationship stuff, and a freaky mean sentient robot who decides that the Avengers are the world's sickness and he knows the cure. Which is, of course, destroy the world (and humanity along with it). Since the Avengers are known for being rather fond of the earth (and humanity along with it), they figure they'd better stop him. It's not a perfectly constructed, watertight plot by any means, but it provides a good backdrop for all the fun superhero antics that everyone is really there to see. That and the beautiful people. Because let's face it, these people are superhumanly gorgeous. Eye candy, fun one-liners, and a really obnoxious villain who just needs a good butt-kicking are the essential elements of this film, and they deliver. I will leave the sarcastic criticism of various plot elements to the people of YouTube (HISHE, Screen Junkies, Cinema Sins, take your pick, there's a bunch of them and they rule the Internet) and just say yes, it's a fun movie. No, it's not as good as the first Avengers movie, which is on my list of all-time favorite movies. No, it will not win any Oscars. And really, who cares? Marvel knows exactly how to part millions of us with our money: Keep making movies like this. It works.

On Being the Master of My Domain

As I'm sure you all know, I'm naturally a humble, unassuming person, even quiet and shy at times. (And if you really know me, you'll know there is some sarcasm in that statement, too. But it's mostly true. Or partially true. Sometimes) But there are times in life when it becomes necessary to say, Hey look at me! I'm awesome! For me, this is one of those moments. Because I have registered a domain name. See it there at the top of the page? www.allisonduke.com. See it? Awesome, right? Now all I need is an awesome website to go with it. And maybe something to sell. Like a book, or editing services, or something like that. Oh and maybe I should blog more often. Yeah. That would be good.

So there you go. Tell all your friends. And if anyone wants to volunteer to help me figure out the awesome website part, please email me or comment below. :)

On the Past

I've been thinking a lot about past events lately. For lots of reasons, not all of them good, but not all of them bad, either. I've also considered writing a memoir - crazy, I know, but all kinds of people are writing memoirs lately and it sounds fun. The past is a tricky thing. People say don't live in it, don't waste your time regretting it, what's done is done...the fact is, what's done is done, and there's not a lot we can do about it now. So if we can't change the past, which is true, and we shouldn't dwell in it, which is also true, why can't we just forget about it and move on? Is it possible that we're not meant to?

Memories are fascinating. They are not always accurate. They are colored by our impressions of the circumstances, the people involved, our moods, either when the memory was created or recalled. And so the past becomes this vast subjective thing, where conversations and events are altered through our interpretations and impressions, either true or false. Very often, memories of the past are tainted with regret. I should have made a better choice. I wish I'd known then what I know now. What if I had done something or said something differently? Could I have done more? Should I have done less?

Then there are the parts of the past that we'd just rather not think about. Dark old secrets, the kind that lay buried most of the time, but sometimes bits and pieces show up, not always at the most convenient times. What do we do with them? Try to forget them? Wish they had never happened? For what it's worth, here's the perspective I've gained this week:

The failures of the past are more than just errors in judgment that we wish we could forget. As a believer in Christ, cleansed by his blood, I am forgiven of all those mistakes, and even the intentional sins I've committed. But I still remember them, even though sometimes I wish I could forget. Why? Because those things have shaped who I am today. There is no point in wishing they had never happened. I am forgiven, I've moved on, but in that process, my life and my character were changed. There was most likely an impact in others' lives that they'll never forget, either. We do this life thing together, and in some way, every choice we make changes our lives and the lives of people around us, in good ways and bad ways, for all eternity. That knowledge makes me want to live better in the future, make better choices now, so that the impact I leave on the lives of others is positive, not detrimental.

We can't change the past. We can let it change us. Make us better, wiser, more forgiving of others' mistakes. And when those things do pop up and we remember them, we can also remember where we came from, where we are now, and find reasons to be thankful for the blessings in our lives, both now and in the past. Most of all, I am thankful for the grace of God that covers my past, redeems it, and makes me new.

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:19, ESV)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)

On Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Okay, for those of you who don't know, I'm just going to come out and say it: I'm a nerd. As a nerd, I consider myself a generalist in all things nerdy. But I do geek out in certain areas. One of them is the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or MCU. I just loved the idea of so many storylines tying together across several movies. I got totally into it. And then, after The Avengers, one of my favorite movies because it's just so much fun, came the ABC TV series, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. For the purposes of this blog, I'm just going to call it SHIELD. It's on a brief winter hiatus right now, but I saw a sneak peek of the next episode and I'm so excited, I just keep thinking about it. So here's a blog post about it.

I've watched this show since the first episode, and haven't missed one. I've even watched all the Marvel movies that have come out since this show debuted, in order to make sure I don't accidentally miss something important. I know some people were disappointed that the show has its own plot and doesn't really tie in to the movies very tightly. As one of my friends put it, "I kind of lost interest when I realized that it's not really about the Avengers, just some people who sort of know them." But as the Marvel folks like to say, it's all connected. I think it's totally fun to set this show in a world where the Avengers really do exist and the events that happen in major cinematic productions also affect the lives of the "ordinary" people who make up Coulson's team of agents. And yes, the show does focus on Phil Coulson, Nick Fury's right-hand-man, who died so dramatically in the Avengers. And yes, he did die. And yes, he's alive now. It's a long story, and one that weaves through the plot of most of the first season. The series premiere poses the question, "What really happened to Coulson?" that gets slowly but surely explored through the course of the season. Along the way, we are introduced to a fun, engaging cast of characters. From the feisty and mysterious Skye, to the nerdy scientist duo, FitzSimmons, to hardened agents Melina May and Grant Ward, Coulson's crew proves over and over that a good team is greater than the sum of its parts. And that learning to work together often serves to bring out the best - and the worst - in people.

I think this show has great writing, decent acting, and a lot of really fun action and explosions and special effects and stuff. In fact, to skip ahead for a second, the winter finale of this season included some of the best special effects I've seen in a TV series. Admittedly, I don't watch a lot of TV. But still, it was awesome. But the real strength of the show is the characters and their chemistry. During the first season, I loved watching the bond that developed between Skye and Coulson, the fun interaction between Fitz and Simmons, and the questionable relationships between May and Ward and the other characters. It took a few episodes for all that chemistry to really start to come together, but once it did and I really started to care about the people in the show, I was totally hooked. It's also fun to see occasional Asgardians and cameos from characters in the Marvel movies, and I hope to see more of those in the future.

I think most people would agree that the real shining moments for this show happened after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Suddenly the plot that had been developing all season had a real focus, and specific enemies, including a brilliant betrayal. The season finale of the show was packed with angst, awesomeness, and fantastic one-liners delivered with the crackling wit I've come to expect from Marvel writers and actors. It was like a Marvel movie condensed into an hour and delivered on the small screen. I loved it, and I loved how it set up the second season, which has been excellent. Although Coulson is still the focus, Skye is also coming into her own, and the show has now shifted somewhat in tone. Instead of just reacting to the Marvel movies, it seems fairly obvious that the show is now building to at least one of them (Inhumans) and possibly more (Captain America: Civil War...?) It's a bold move by the studio but I think it's super fun. I'm eagerly anticipating the show's return on March 3, and trying to keep up with Agent Carter (which is also a fun show) in the meantime.

I'm slightly obsessed with SHIELD. My obsession has inspired internet research, long conversations peppered with exclamation points, and even a mild temptation to actually read comic books - okay, I've resisted that so far. But if you like Marvel movies, or TV shows with action and really good character development, I think you'll like this show. I don't have Netflix or Hulu but I think season one is on Netflix and season two is on Hulu Plus, so you should have time to binge-watch and catch up before new shows start up in March. Do it. Thank me later. And talk to me later, because I do not get tired of talking about this show.