Tuesday, August 5, 2014

On Guardians of the Galaxy (in 3D)

My eyes hurt. 3D is not my preferred format for watching a movie. This is because I am old-school, and I believe my on-screen entertainment should be viewed in only two dimensions, as it was originally intended. All this 3D stuff with things jumping out at you and making you think a knife is going to hit you in the face or whatever...meh. In the past they only made a movie in 3D if they knew it was so bad no one would ever see it anyway. "Sure, it's a sequel to a horrible kids' sci-fi spy action movie...BUT IT'S IN 3D, PEOPLE! You know you want to see it now." I will say that 3D is better than it used to be, now that they actually film in 3D and IMAX to the max and all that, but it makes me dizzy, gives me a headache, and my vision is still blurry, hours later.

So. Guardians of the Galaxy (in 3D) is visually stunning eye candy that made me laugh and I think there was actually a halfway decent story in there somewhere. The characters are so flawed they are endearing, the plot is epic and ridiculous, and oh my word, it's hilarious. So many fun lines and laugh-out-loud moments. I mean, this movie is stupid, but not so completely stupid that you want your money back at the end of it because you totally wasted two hours of your life. It's just stupid fun, like me and my friends sitting around and being idiots and laughing at each other. That is, if my friends were aliens and tree-creatures and genetically-engineered raccoons.

If you never heard of Guardians of the Galaxy until this year and when you first heard about it you thought, "Eh, that's a pass," and then you started catching all the murmurings from the geek community and were intrigued enough to check it out, then you can understand how I felt about this movie. For the non-comic-book-geeks, like me, here's a summary, based on what I know, which is sketchy at best: The movie is based on an obscure Marvel comic book series and it's not like the Avengers, with superheroes and stuff. It happens in space and Earth is not really anyone's concern. In some ways, it feels more like a space opera (think Star Wars) than a comic book, but it has that fast-paced, edgy Marvel action and humor that is just fun to watch. If you want to see an introduction to the characters, watch the previews on YouTube. They are a group of lost causes who initially all try to kill each other, maybe more than once, but ultimately come together for the very noble cause of saving a planet and also, incidentally, the entire galaxy. There are creepy bad guys and annoying government protocol and some ugly prison scenes. It's very satirical and hard to take seriously. I liked it.

Please note that this movie is rated PG-13 and the content is not appropriate for younger audiences, or people who like good clean rom coms or family films. If you like sci-fi violence, with lots of weird-looking, seemingly pain-resistant and even regenerative creatures getting brutally beaten and dismembered and pulverized and stuff, you'll like this movie. If you can stomach some ugly language and jokes and gestures mixed in with your fun in space, you'll like this movie. If you like tree-creatures that can only say one line (spoiler: it's "I am Groot") over and over and occasionally beat people up but then turn around and do something sweet and beautiful, you'll like this movie. If those things bother you, you won't like this movie. As I said, I liked it. I'd be willing to see it again in two dimensions, but I'll probably wait for Blu-Ray and the comfort of my living room to do that.

My take: Go see this movie, and go see it with friends who will laugh out loud with you, because the epic films of summer are just more fun with friends.

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